Thursday, September 10, 2009

A Brothel In Seoul

Once myself and two other guys got loaded in Iteawon, the US Army district of Seoul. As we wandered to a different watering hole a beautiful Korean woman in tight-fitting dress beckoned us over to her. She was stunning. She was about 5'5" with long, thick black hair and smooth, round legs. The dress hugged her waist and...well, everyone knows what a woman in a dress looks like. She asked if we would like to have a beer at her establishment. We said "Sure!" and went inside. We were too drunk to notice that she had locked the door behind us.

Inside was a dimly-lit bar with two other girls who asked us to buy them "girly drinks". Ya, why not, we said. And get us a beer. The girly-drinks were shots of something fruity and cost 20,000 won a piece (about $20). Then one of the girls hit play on a crappy little ghetto blaster and bad Korean pop music started. All three girls tore off their dresses at the same time! It was almost an Olympic-worthy performance! Then each one climbed on top one of us and started to grind and oscillate. "You can touch wherever you want" the girl we had met outside who was now on my lap said. Then it dawned on me. Shit. We had just wandered into a brothel like drunken idiots. "You want rub? 30. You want blow? 50" She panted into my ear.

"Guys!" I yelled to the other two who were buried underneath breasts. "Let's get the fuck out of here!" One of my friends said "Okay!" While the other said "What? Are you crazy?!!?" Almost like magic one of our cell phones rang and my friend answered it. It was our girlfriends wanting to meet us at a club just down the street! I grabbed my girl by the waist and flung her off me and stood up and made a bee-line for the door, unlocked it and stood in the doorway. My friends, one relunctantly, followed me out.

I'm just not into the "pay-for-sex" scene. It's like buying a cup of water from a guy standing next to a water fountain: why pay for it? Maybe if the hookers were gold-plated, or came with a 20 oz sirloin steak and a nice peppercorn sauce...actually, that DOES sound like a deal. Steak dinner and a blow from a gold-plated hooker for fifty bucks...I'm in the wrong business.

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